So...

When I woke up yesterday morning I had realized that it had been four years since he left...

All I could think was, 'I can't believe it's been four years. I miss him soooo much!'. It was insane!

All I know, is that it shouldn't have happened...

He was the most absolute coolest person ever! There will always be pride in my heart just because of the fact that I know him. I miss him more than any words in any language could ever explain.

FUCK...

I can't believe I'm crying...again!

People can be nice, and they can say, "I'm sorry". While I recognize the feeling thats there I know that they just don't understand...

It shouldn't have happened...

Maybe one day...i'll realize he's not physically here anymore...and i'll "get over it".

But that is VERY unlikely!

I love too much, it's one of my problems.

And I loved him...

I loved him with all my heart! I still love him!

To this day, I have to fight my urges to kill every single person who says I "should be over it by now"!

It's stupid!

I can't get over it, I won't get over it!

Not until I accept it...and I can't...

...it's too hard!



To my closest cousin, and adopted brother:

Tyler,

I miss you!
Not a day goes by that I don't think about what happened, and how you were ripped away from this world so quickly.

It wasn't your fault...it wasn't anybody's fault...nobody would have ever thought that it would have happened.

I'll try my hardest not to cry, because I know you'd hate to see me sad...

I can't believe it ended that way...

But I love you...

I always have...

I miss you soooo much!

But I'll dry my tears and try to continue, because I know that is what you'd want.

It'll be hard, and i'll never get over what happened...but i'll get by!

I can't stop missing you, and I'd die before I forgot you...

At least i'll have some comfort in knowing that you (hopefully) ended with a great night.

Who would have thought the tire would explode like that?

But I can't think about it...

Someone once told me that God takes the best angels early.

I know that is why you were taken...

I miss you like crazy, and I love you even more.

Watch over me?

With all my heart,
~Daniza

R.I.P. Tyler Kenneth Whitecloud ('Mahto Tanka')
Jan 15, 1985 - Jul 19th, 2001
I will always love you...I promise...